Why does he think he is always right and doing the right thing?

Anita_pat

Hello huddlies , so I was in a convo yesterday with a friend, she asked too many questions that I clearly didn't have answers to so I thought of hitting y'all with it.. ladies is it fine if you were in a conversation with your man and he got angry and hang up on you but before then he already told you when u have something to say we can talk . Is it that she wasn't making any sense at first ? Or do most guys really think they are perfectly right and anything they bring is allowed? Are we ladies supposed to be cool with what comes?
cos it's what she goes through the moment she is no longer making any point to him ,he hangs up on her and tell her to fix her self , I don't know about most guys but I believe in a relationship you two are supposed to be able to understand and fix each other, not hanging up every time and telling her to go fix herself and when she is done they can start talking ..

I also think relationships needs maturity and understanding without this two I doubt if it can be any better .most relationships is based on who is right , never who is wrong I think it's d problem and it's very wrong for any man to hang up on a woman when she is trying to be heard. What do you think guys ???? ghh

Cic0

Anita_pat I also think relationships needs maturity and understanding without this two I doubt if it can be any better

First of all, i agree with you that Relationships are strongly based on maturity. They should both know and understand what they are capable of and be careful not to cross lines. I think they themselves know where the shoe hurts for this kind of misunderstandings to take place. He has to control his anger and the lady should probably avoid whatever gets him angry, men can get really hurt most times and they show it by just shutting off. At the end love binds and heals all. Best of luck to them 👍

Obifred

Anita_pat Depends on the situation, story isn't clear enough. Who knows what they both go through... You haven't heard his part of the story so let's not be quick to judge. Men need a lot of attention from their partner just as ladies do I believe. We can be vulnerable at one time when we're cut up in the moment and Little things that spark the torch may hurt real bad therefore shutting off just like Cic0 mentioned. Men naturally were built not to panic they are logical thinkers by nature. She's in the best position to understand what her man needs and when.

Anita_pat

Cic0 Cic0 is it okay for a man to get really angry at his woman??? I'm just saying , although we all humans so it does happen, but then again if the best thing a man can do is shutting off what is the best thing for a woman to do , because we shouldn't forget they both have feelings and most times women love to be heard ...

Victor

Truth be told in a relationship its fairly normal for men to feel a sense of responsibility towards shouldering decisions. At times if not most, men have already thought in advance what their next move is right or wrong. Now when a woman has her own view of a subject matter and has a strong point to push through, it will be wiser for her to keep calm and engage the guy in conversation that will help push her point rather than ranting about it. She could start with asking the guy about his plans on an issue and how he intends to solve an issue for example. From there she can start suggesting alternatives and advise where necessary. She should also be able to read the atmosphere to know when its becoming tense and back off to return later. Shouting and arguing solves little really.

Anita_pat

Victor why must d woman read d atmosphere and not the man??? It has always been this way , why????

MrsOjay

Well I can't really judge much cause I haven't accessed the whole situation from start, but a gentle man should abruptly shutdown a lady or anyone else unless it is absolute necessary. Constant shutting and imposing your decision on your partner doesnt make it any better. You only end up pushing her into her shell and this will affect the guy later cos the lady might just be resentful about making her opinion known for fear of backlash. We already know that the men have authority. They don't have to abuse females psychologically to prove that. Just saying 😐

Anita_pat

Obifred m sorry mr obifred so you saying shutting off is the best thing to do ??? I don't know but I think women love to be heard,

Obifred

Anita_pat There are several different reasons men shut down during an argument. I know that when you are in the midst of a discussion or argument, it can be really frustrating when they do this, but there are some very good explanations for why this happens. Understanding the reasons men shut down can help you to not feel angry or hurt when this happens. One thing to remember is that it is not permanent; when they calm down they will come back to you.

THEY ARE NOT WOMEN
Okay, ladies. Our men are men, they are not fellow women. Women have a high threshold for verbal exchanges but men do not. They are not as wordy or as feely as we are. One of the reasons men shut down is that they just go on overload if a discussion or an argument is lengthy. If you want to avoid this, try not to talk forever; give him the Cliff Notes version of what you really want to say.
THEY ARE SLOW PROCESSERS
This one took me forever to learn.
My husband does not think or act as quickly as I do.
This is not wrong, just different.
A lot of times if we are discussing something of some importance, he needs time to think and process what is going on.
This used to really upset me but I have learned that if I relax and allow him that time, he will come back to me and be very ready to finish the conversation.
THEY HIT THEIR LIMIT
Most women are better arguers than men are.
Arguing has a much stronger physical effect on men that it does on women.
Men are more likely to be the ones with an elevated pulse and blood pressure.
They can only take so much and then they have hit their limit and withdraw.
If you can find a way to argue without it being so overly dramatic, that can be helpful in avoiding your man shutting down.
THEY FEEL ATTACKED
Many times a man will shut down in an argument when he feels attacked.
If he feels like you are not listening and being fair about hearing his side of the issue, he may figure there is no use to continue talking to you.
In order to avoid this, be calm and allow him time to state his opinion.
This does not mean that you have to agree but it is a part of learning to fight fair.
Allowing the man in your life to have time to voice his opinions is a much better option than being left in the middle of an argument because he is withdrawing from you.
THEY ARE HURT
A lot of times men shut down because they are hurt.
Although they act like they are big and tough, our men do have feelings and fragile egos.
We sometimes forget this and end up doing serious damage to their feelings.
Many times a man will shut down when he is hurt because he simply does not want to be hurt any more.
In order to avoid this, try to fight fairly.
Avoid doing things that will make an argument go into dangerous territory.
THEY ARE PROTECTING YOU
Many men shut down in an argument because they know they have had their limit and are afraid they will say something deeply hurtful to you.
This is their way of being protective to the woman in their life, although it can feel like anything but that when it occurs.
Men know their emotions and when they are about to hit their boiling point, so they make the choice to go silent until they can calm down.
Learning techniques to help you fight fairly can avoid this.
Remember, it takes two to allow an argument to get out of hand and while you can only do your part, your part has a big impact.
It can be very frustrating when a man shuts down in the middle of an argument.
Has this happened to you?
THEY FEEL DISRESPECTED
Respect is very important to a man.
I did not grasp this concept until several years ago.
It is as important to them as being loved is to us and that is pretty big.
If you are disrespectful in how you speak to a man in an argument, and I do know it is hard not to be, he will more than likely shut down and withdraw.
Remember that the goal of an argument is to work out an issue and find common ground, not to win at all costs.

With the understanding of this.. A lot of things can be avoided. Copy this to her

Cic0

Hello good mornings huddlers. Seems its boiling in here. Anita_pat I didnt say its was okay. It is never okay for anyone of them to get angry at each other. They should know their limits and try to avoid everything that gets them to there. Nice piece by the way Obifred... Relationships tho. Well guys I'm off.. Going to kiss my wife good morning before she start our own wahala 😁😁.

Anita_pat

Obifred well I think number 6. Seems more productive and helpful ..thanks will give a perfect 👌 feedback

Mariam

Obifred Your feedback is on point bro. Women sometimes are also guilty of this. Truth is A man has a role of being a man and every woman should respect that. Don't come and be fronting equality in opinion and all that. There is no way 2 captains can steer a boat to safety. A woman is supposed to use her wits and feminine appeal to secure her own bargain in front of a man and not try to fight for position. Men by nature are dominant and they take responsibility for their actions most of the time. It's good for both parties to argue but when arguing, let it be constructive and let the points be clearly stated out so that each party can clearly see the line of argument

Anita_pat

Cic0 you should , women are pets
And thank you too 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

QueenethUzochukwu

i am just here reading comments and learning a whole because me ehn.... Lips sealed😏😏

Memz

I think it's okay to have arguments with your man. But also know when it's getting heated. That's where you calm it all the way down. Both parties should understand themselves and know when either of them are crossing the line. It's not good for either party to shut down the other for whatever reason. Anyone will feel hurt because that's supposed to be your loved one. Sometimes people just want to be listened to. If you shut me down for a couple of times. There's that one that might just come along, who will listen to me all the way. This tins just have a way of happening so fast and before you know it, you have shift attention. Besides, communication is the blood in every relationship. So once there's an issue with communication, you might just be heading for the rocks.

tobek

Memz You hit the nail on the head. Some women just enjoy tempting men and then when men react they start playing victim. There's nothing wrong is stooping low to conquer. A woman should help and guide her man not direct and push for equality in opinion.

Memz

And I forgot to mention. It's not all about the man. And it's not all about the woman either. It's about both of them.