It is very wrong and sentimental to give birth to children and think the oldest will take care of them. They didn't force you to bring them into this world; you did the konji, you ushered them in, please it's still your work to take care of them and no, when you're taking care of your children, its not a privilege, it's their right, it's what they deserve, so do it with all manner of responsibility and commitment.
An acquaintance of mine was suicidal last week because of the burden of his family on him. He's the first child and is 38 yet unmarried and almost has nothing standing, why?
He started hustling at 23 for his ungrateful siblings. His parents said it's his responsibility to do so.
To fend for them..
To give them a life..
So it's made his life almost a waste of time for himself..
Working profusely for others, who don't even care, who own it up like it's their right..
He was supposed to get married at 29 but crucibles of life's experience in the confines of the pressurised burden of taking care of his adult siblings didn't let him.
What freaking culture validates this nonsense practice?
Many Nigerian parents just produce children and give one the responsibility of what they caused.
Give birth to one if it's one you can take care of..
Parenting isn't about how many children you have but how well you treat them, how much can you groom them?
Quantity is needless when resources is unavailable..
Stop producing children by faith.
Stop heaping needless responsibilities on children that should plan their lives and focus.
Give all your children equal opportunity to face their lives and career.
Ain't saying they shouldn't help each other,
It's called ‘HELP’ not ‘RESPONSIBILITY’
Help is out of love or compassion..It's voluntary.
Your eldest child is not an assistant parent.
Yes, they are supposed to do well, and have others follow their legacy..
But having them feel forcefully committed to solving the problems of their siblings; that's way too ridiculous.
Many first children don't live long because of the pressure, the load, the burden, and even on top of it, these folks feel so entitled to being fed and given everything they ask.
I understand that all these play out as a result of frustration and inability to fend for your children, and that's why I'm attacking the root cause: Bear children you can comfortably fend for.
It is highly painful having one of your children give up on their dreams and entire life's passion to spend his/her own life taking care of other siblings. That's a waste of destiny. We all are here for our individual purposes.